What Triggers Conflict?

As stated, there are a number of reasons that triggers conflict, the “TKI Conflict Model” developed by Thomas and Kilmann includes five modes of behaviour depicting how people respond to conflict:

• Competing; an individual pursues his own concerns at the other person’s expense,
• Accommodating; an individual neglects his own concerns to satisfy the concerns of the other person,
• Avoiding; the person neither pursues his own concerns nor those of the other individual,
• Collaborating; is both assertive and cooperative—involves an attempt to work with others to find some solution that fully satisfies their concerns,
• Compromising; it addresses an issue more directly than avoiding, but does not explore it in as much depth as collaborating

(Kilmann Diagnostics LLC, 2009-2021)

Collaborating could be seen as a healthy way of dealing with conflict because it is both assertive and cooperative. In addition, communicating assertively demonstrates professionalism.

Avoiding the person/situation is an option, however, you are doing yourself a disservice. The unfavourable behaviour will be prone to persist and your feelings will continue to build animosity. As a result, you might find yourself exploding at the person, acting in a regretful way, and/or leaving your role. Unless you shift this behaviour, it will recur.

Accommodating is akin to being a doormat and sadly, people tend to lose respect for those who accommodate. Plus, accommodating can decrease self-esteem.

Those who default to Competing, push people away. In the long term, no one will want to work with someone who uses this approach predominantly.

Abusive or bullying conditions are beyond the scope of this Resource. Please reach out to Student Health & Wellness services for support.